“My Poetry is Ministry”

Recently within the past couple of weeks, I’ve struggled with comparing myself to other creatives, specifically other poets. This caused me to experience a lack of expression because I was too caught up in what other people were doing. I found myself forcing words onto my paper rather than truly finding inspiration in my day-to-day, and I longed to please others rather than to write what I feel, and connect with others through that.

Most importantly, I forgot where my ultimate source of creativity comes from; I fixed my eyes on myself rather than on my Creator who blessed me with the gift of creativity.

After talking with Honey (my stepmom, for those who haven’t been reading my blog recently), I was inspired to write this poem. She said some wise things that I’ve incorporated here, one of which is the actual title of the poem – “My Poetry is Ministry.” I’m grateful to have such a godly woman of the Lord in my life to help steer me back on the right path when I feel like I’ve been lost.

So Honey, I dedicate this poem to you. Thank you for your prayers, and for always looking to the Lord so that you may speak His Word to others. 💛

“My Poetry is Ministry”

My poetry is ministry,

And I have treated it lately with such

Carelessness — scribbling down verses and words to try to impress rather than to

Try to connect.

My focus shifted towards selfish ways and it became more about filling a page and

I let comparison run rampant through my brain,

When what I truly needed was

My Father’s grace – the grace that bestowed this

Gift of words to me in the first place that

Birthed such beauty from ashes that I sat in —

Grieving a loss, questioning the purpose of my pen, trying to

Comprehend where I was headed, where my value lied.

My Father’s grace is the only thing that keeps my poetry alive it

Makes me feel like I don’t even have to try because it

Freely flows and

The inspiration is divine and

I know this to be true because

When I look back at what I’ve written when my heart is aligned,

There’s absolutely no way that it came from my own mind.

So, first things first —

My words are more than just sowed together scribbles that simply sound deep and that,

As my stepmother once told me,

“Could contain hell underneath,” no,

The bars I spit originate from the Most High and are

Spoken and written through me —

“A broken reed, a smoldering flame.”

Yes, my poetry is ministry so

Take my name out of the equation and see


But my Father’s grace.

#MishyWrites 🦋🌿

“My Healing (Growth)” – A Poem


So…I’ve been doing a lot of growing recently. Like A LOT; more-so than I thought when I first began this GROWTH series. And it’s been interesting to see how I’ve handled it; how I’ve had to have my toes lightly stepped on by the observations of my close friends, but also feel them wrap their arms around me in encouragement. How God’s put words, feelings, and situations in my path to help me realize that I wasn’t as far as I thought I was, but also feel Him smile upon me and say, “But I love you anyway, and I’m still working through you. My grace is sufficient.”

I’ll be honest, I have watered myself through so many tears earlier this week. I’ve had to uproot some prideful thinking that was beneath the surface that was eating away at me being able to grow up and grow out of things I was pretending not to idolize. And I’ve had to stop using being busy as a way for me to avoid processing through things so I can heal, and turn my branches towards the true Light.

The poem below describes my healing during a different time in my life, but I love how it still pertains to my healing now. It was created from a prompt out of Alex Elle’s poetry book Neon Soul. I’m excited to share this poem with you, and to keep these words with me as I continue to live, grow, and thrive.

“My Healing (Growth)”

The branches that I thought I needed that
Had potential fruit to bear
Were either cut off by my Maker or
Naturally separated and
At first, I thought it wasn’t fair since they were the
Only branches that seemed to have fruit.
How could God possibly take away these blessings before they could even bloom? Before they could
Grow into something more and
Ripen for others to eat?
They were the only branches that made me feel like my purpose was complete and
Now they’re gone and
It hurts.
The places they used to reside in now ache and I
Struggle to see how this wasn’t
Some mistake, how
This could be good for me in any way.

As the days went on, however, that aching eased and
I no longer envied the branches and fruits of other plants and trees.
My sore spots healed up after much
Sun, rain and love and care
From my Maker, Who despite my
Feeling lonely mostly through this process was actually
Always there, through every step.
And so, more branches began to grow and
Once they came, more fruit did too.
But this time both branch and fruit were firm and strong
So much so that I realized it had to take this long for
Good limbs and good fruit to produce.

This is the story of my healing.

#MishyWrites 🦋🌿

GROWTH – Part 2: watered

While I was staying with my grandparents, and then transitioning to the house I would dog sit at for the weekend, it rained for a couple of days straight. If you know me, rainy weather isn’t my soul weather at all; I take well to extremely sunny days where I don’t need a jacket, and I can where shorts and crop tops.

Truly, as I walked through the pouring rain into my workplace, this is where the “GROWTH” blog series began. Because it was the beginning of March, and I was thinking about how much I’d grown in the past couple of years, even in the past couple of months in 2018, and as the rain fell hard against my rain coat, and my rain boots squished through puddles of water, I thought of myself as a plant being watered.

It made me ask myself: what was watering my soul, my mind, my heart? Just as any plant needs water to grow, I needed things to replenish myself. So, I just wanna share this question and a few more that came from this thought to help you evaluate yourself and where you are:

– What people were helping me recover from unexpected circumstances?
– What atmospheres created a safe space for me to sink my roots in and thrive?
– What was I thirsty for, and what was quenching that thirst?
– Were these things/people/places that were watering me causing me to grow or causing me to wilt?

Even this question ran through my mind: Was I being over-watered by anything, anyone, any place? How could I disconnect from that negative source?

Whatever season you are in – a comfortable place, uprooted to a new place, in need of watering, or maybe even flourishing – I hope you take the time to ask yourself these questions from time to time to evaluate exactly where you are and where you’re headed, and what is helping or hurting you from healing or getting where you need to be.

#MishyWrites 🦋🌿


I started last week talking about positive talk – how the way you talk to yourself affects your attitude, your actions. And quite honestly, by the end of the week, all of that had gone out the window for me.

All of my energy had been drained. I sought solitude despite the fact that exposing myself brought me joy and new opportunities and friends. Yet, a couple of weeks of this kind of lifestyle brought me to a place where I couldn’t really depend on anything to make me feel good.

I understood that “The joy of the Lord is my strength,” but believing it became harder as each hour passed. Everything began to shut down – physically, my body was exhausted. Mentally, my mind warred with thoughts of compromise and surrender to things I never thought I’d consider. Spiritually, I felt distant from where I’d been in January, but I knew that God was still with me. That His plan for me was just beginning that 2018 was still going to be my year. Emotionally – I’d taken a toll. Unexpected circumstances that ended as quickly as they began left me questioning my worth, wondering if all this hurt I was feeling was worth the things and people I was pursuing. Was it worth it for me to do all I had begun to do in order to make a process a reality; a dream come true?

People have always told me it wouldn’t be easy, and they were right. The warfare is real, and if I’m not focused on what I need to be focused on, I will suffer under the Enemy’s bark and bite.

“Realign my heart and help me keep the first things first.” — “Born Again,” Cory Asbury

#MishyWrites 🦋

“Dear Poetry…”

Last week, I attended a poetry event called “Poetry is LIT” hosted by the beautiful and talented poet Erika Roberts aka Velvet Poetry. One of the prompts she gave us was to write a letter to poetry. I wrote the first portion of this at the event, and decided to finish it up.

“Dear Poetry…”

Dear Poetry…
I am sorry.
I’ve always hated you out of misunderstanding, for I was always taught that you were nothing but
Stanzas and rhythms,
Lines and rhymes and
The only reason I ever gave you a try was because
He was a poet…
And I wanted to show him I loved him by
Learning to love you.
Who would’ve thought that he would leave and
You would stay.
And we’d build a stronger bond than I could ever imagine.

You healed me, Poetry.
And even as I waited for him to return you
Took a hold of my darkest moments and
Unfolded all the things I never dreamed I would become.
It seems you have always been a part of who I am and
All it took for me to discover that was
Giving you a chance.

So, I’m so sorry, dear Poetry, for ever doubting you.
Now using you to express myself is the least I can do.


Mishy 🦋


“the frustration of a fan.” – Day 11 of #12DaysofChristmas

On the 11th day of Christmas, Mishy gave to us…

“the frustration of a fan.”

*DISCLAIMER / EXPLANATION: I understand that there’s a difference between a fan being appreciative, and a fan who’s a legit fanatic – who turns appreciation into obsession to the point of stalking, or any other invasion of a celebrity’s privacy. I do not condone the latter; every person, whether well-known or not, deserves respect and privacy. This poem is about being a respectful fan who doesn’t feel appreciated by the person they admire, despite their respectful love. I also understand that celebrities have duties, and are short on time, so they can’t thank EVERY SINGLE FAN of theirs. This poem is based off of a specific instance I experienced with ONE particular person I admired. Okay. Continue LOL.

I gave you my love and you took it for granted.

It may be odd to many of you that I feel so strongly about this but honestly, I’m hurt, and
I can’t stand it.
It hurt to see that I’d been accepted into what seemed to be an inner circle, but then removed when my love wasn’t “good” enough.
I’m sorry if you wanted more, but out of my own circumstances, that was all I had,
And tough luck getting anything “good” from me because I know I’m worth more than that.
I think it’s unfair how you pick favorites;
How you’re not even that famous yet, but choose only those who are the stereotypical
Pretty and gorgeous, no,
You should be thankful for every fan you have.
Every “I love you” said or emoji that’s read in your Instagram comments.
Because you touched a soul, you influenced someone’s mind,
And they’re willing to go above and beyond to say how much they appreciate you,
How much you mean to them,
And, if they can, spend a little time with you because
They know you’re special; they can feel it in their heart.
But all of that means nothing if you take their love for you and laugh
And pick apart how they showed it to you…

“That was it? Removed.”
“She keeps tweeting me, ugh. Blocked.”
“He keeps commenting heart-eyes on every pic, and bruh, I just wish that he would stop.”

So you, as the fan, as the admirer,
Are left in silence while everyone else who is
Pretty enough,
Forward enough,
Flirty enough,
Good enough
Gets noticed.

I don’t wanna ever be like that.
I don’t wanna roll my eyes at someone who can’t help but express how much they love who I am and what I do.
It’s people like that who are the reason I say this often, “I can’t do this without you.”
Without the love and support, where would I be?
Definitely not putting out my words for you to hear,
Or watching you watch me when I make it to the stage.

I learned something from this – you can’t be too greedy when it comes to appreciation.
As someone who’s looked up to, you can never know the frustration of a fan
Who doesn’t feel loved or appreciated back.

Be kind. Stay humble.

~ written on June 22, 2017 at 11:32pm

#MishyWrites #12DaysofPoetry

“When you miss your flight…” – Day 10 of #12DaysofPoetry

On the 10th day of poetry, Mishy gave to us…

“When you miss your flight…”

And in that moment, You stopped me.
Stopped my heart and mind from the worries and stresses that this world so often hands me,
And I felt Your gentle Voice whisper,
“You’re okay.”

I also felt the guilt. I replayed the events of only minutes before, and saw the ugliness that my flesh so easily dealt out without stopping to think twice how my actions could hurt me and my friend more.

We apologized; we’re all good. But as I sit in this little seat, and think upon my words and thoughts, I can’t help but be a little grateful despite the frustration.

You’re still teaching me things. Still revealing to me the dark depths of my soul that I so often overlook to declare that I’m a good person as a whole.

We all like to believe that we’re good people, in general.

But to show me that I still have things to improve on, that I still need Your grace and mercy to make the right moves, and to remain insightful and humble because I’m such a handful?

Man. It’s only proof that You hear my prayers to mold me into someone more like You, someone better.

And for that, I thank You. I may be fumbling through this, but I know You steady me anyway. If this is what it takes to grow, Lord, test me any day.

Just by simply sitting in this chair, and thinking about the things I’ve lost, the things that went wrong, You slowly showed me that You’re still in control, that this was Your plan all along.

~ written on the flight to Denver to get to Cabo, after missing our original flight. 7:29am

#MishyWrites #12DaysofPoetry