“To Dr. King”

Dear Dr. King,

Thank you.

I know today, you’re hearing a lot of that; people from all over the United States
Declaring their love, support, and gratefulness for all the sacrifices you and your family made
So that I could have the family that I have –
Brown skin and white skin peacefully under one roof,
No discriminatory speech from either party, simply
Love, serenity.

I pray to God, Dr. King, that today not be the only day
In which all people, white and black alike
Remember the struggle that it took for our country to get where it is today.
Because even today, there is still struggle;
There is still misunderstanding, confusion, blatant hate
When there shouldn’t be, and we should all be moving forwards instead of
Backwards.

I admit that even I, a woman of color
Am guilty of overlooking the issues that our country currently has
Because of my complacency.

I pray for courage like you, Dr. King, to stand up for what’s right.
To realize my voice matters in the mix of all the
Opinions and
To use it instead of fearing that
My thoughts are unpopular or
Worrying that what I have to say is irrelevant.

For posting about you, or talking about what you did means nothing
If I, if we, do not take a step towards change,
Towards caring when things begin to move backwards instead of forwards.

You said it best: “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

And so, Dr. King,
I actively decide to
Break my silence and
Speak up for what is right,
What is true, what is just.

#MishyWrites

“streetlights”

Some of you may be wondering…

Mishy said she was going to write a poem every day…is she even doing that?

Why yes, dear reader, I am! I’m simply writing them in that gold notebook I have, and saving them most for revision, and hopefully for them to be published in a book later!

Thankfully, there have been a couple of days in which I’ve been able to write more than just one poem because of different things on my mind. They’re just rough drafts, but I’m grateful that the Lord would inspire the words within me to write them.

I just wanted to share this little poem with you though. I actually wrote it on December 30, 2017, as I was riding in the car with my sister back to our grandmother’s house. We were on the freeway, and the sun was setting, causing most of the streetlights to turn on. As I looked out toward the city streetlights, I wrote this poem…

“streetlights.”

I hope that when the darkness begins to close around you
The streetlights in your heart and soul
Immediately turn on,
And spark a Hope ablaze within you that
Guides you on your way back
Towards home.
Towards the things and people who will
Remind you that
The dark only lasts some hours and
Those streetlights will keep hope and faith alive
Until the sun rises again.

#MishyWrites

“When you miss your flight…” – Day 10 of #12DaysofPoetry

On the 10th day of poetry, Mishy gave to us…

“When you miss your flight…”

And in that moment, You stopped me.
Stopped my heart and mind from the worries and stresses that this world so often hands me,
And I felt Your gentle Voice whisper,
“You’re okay.”

I also felt the guilt. I replayed the events of only minutes before, and saw the ugliness that my flesh so easily dealt out without stopping to think twice how my actions could hurt me and my friend more.

We apologized; we’re all good. But as I sit in this little seat, and think upon my words and thoughts, I can’t help but be a little grateful despite the frustration.

You’re still teaching me things. Still revealing to me the dark depths of my soul that I so often overlook to declare that I’m a good person as a whole.

We all like to believe that we’re good people, in general.

But to show me that I still have things to improve on, that I still need Your grace and mercy to make the right moves, and to remain insightful and humble because I’m such a handful?

Man. It’s only proof that You hear my prayers to mold me into someone more like You, someone better.

And for that, I thank You. I may be fumbling through this, but I know You steady me anyway. If this is what it takes to grow, Lord, test me any day.

Just by simply sitting in this chair, and thinking about the things I’ve lost, the things that went wrong, You slowly showed me that You’re still in control, that this was Your plan all along.

~ written on the flight to Denver to get to Cabo, after missing our original flight. 7:29am

#MishyWrites #12DaysofPoetry

“no. 07082017- Day 9 of #12DaysofPoetry

On the 9th day of poetry, Mishy gave to us…

“no. 07082017”

Is it bad that I feel unsympathetic to your plight?
That I dream of nights when you like awake in bed, unable to get thoughts of me out of your head?
What I look like, sound like, smell like, laugh like…
What is it like to live without me?
Is it bad that i hope you’re drowning in regret?
That I hope you see me as the girl that got away? That even though you may go about your business with other girls in your midst, that in the back of your mind I sit there and wait
Patiently. Ever so, patiently.
Is it sad that I even think such vengeful thoughts towards you? Is forgiveness even a word in my vocabulary if all I want is for you to admit that without me,
You’re unsteady?

Forgive me.

I feel like the part of me that wants to say these thoughts are okay,
Is just the part of me that wants to protect myself; the part of me that doesn’t want to let anymore demons in because there have been one too many who’ve gotten under my skin to ravage the hope and purity that’s within, I
Wish that those from my past could see the mess they’ve caused.
I wish they could see how lost I had been for days, weeks, months, thank God not years.
He thankfully took a hold of me before my fears could get ahead of me.
I wish that those from my past could see the beauty they’ve planted.
The person I am today couldn’t exist without the many lessons I’ve learned throughout my life but sometimes still take for granted.

Man.

I’m sorry I feel unsympathetic to your plight.
I’m sorry I hope nightmares upon you as you live your life.
My heart and mind just wanna fight off anything that’s gonna keep me down.
But it shouldn’t be like this; self care shouldn’t be like this…
Or should it?

~ written on May 8, 2017 at 3:15pm

#MishyWrites #12DaysofPoetry

“soul music.” – Day 8 of #12DaysofPoetry

On the 8th day of poetry, Mishy gave to us…

“soul music.”

Crazy how I can now listen to the songs that reminded me so much of you, but hurt too much to play back then.
Crazy that I can feel more positive nostalgia and vibes from the artists I once constantly replayed, and can now play yet again.
Crazy how you’ve been taken out of the equation, out of the music that used to define our relationship, I
No longer avoid this music any longer.
I embrace it with all that it is, not what it used to stand for.

You’re not there anymore. No,
Whatever was left of you in these lyrics, this music,
Has been erased and placed somewhere other than in the forefront of my mind.
I sought comfort with these artists, yet, they were also yours to admire, and I
Couldn’t stand that we both shared something I always went back to,
Something I always desired to keep close to me.

For too long, I had to keep it at a distance.

Some months or years later, and I can listen and reminisce on the good memories and
Fun times. My heart and stomach don’t ache to think that you’re listening to the same thing I’m listening to.
To think that whatever sounds and songs made you feel the same way I felt just seemed
Too good to be true.

So, I sought my soul music elsewhere.

And I discovered a whole new world of tunes, better musicians that could soothe
My aching heart from all the lies you so carefully crafted into two connecting arcs.
Sometimes I can’t keep them in  my car, on my phone, or in my head for all they do is make me think back to those times, when I was questioning with dread why I even had to endure it.

Then I read all the lines above this one, and I realize that maybe it wasn’t the worst.

So, when I listen to those songs, I can only think of how much I’ve grown since I last heard them.

And they mean more to me now than they did at first.

~ written on July 6, 2017 at 10:47pm

#MishyWrites #12DaysofPoetry

“Who am I?”

Who am I to say, “They won’t come to You”?

I sit here as if I am wise enough,

Thirsty enough,

Good enough to know that

I need saving.

Yet I have rebelled time and time again

Against You, as if I wasn’t saved at all.

How can I harden my heart towards them,

And claim that I am trying to speak Your Name?

I am no different than them; we are the same – all sinners in need of a grace

So vast and triumphant that it takes everything within our beings

To praise something so sacrificial,

Something so beautiful.

I am not the judge of your salvation or mine,

Or his or hers or theirs,

I am simply a broken vessel whom the Lord has graciously allowed to be used.

And being used isn’t easy; it isn’t popular, it isn’t fun all the time.

It’s a huge privilege, and a heavy task.

It’s a great commission, and an intimidating call.

It’s a wonderful thing to realize you’ve been asked to speak the Truth into the hearts of those who know the Lord, and those who have no clue at all.

~ written sometime in July 2017

#MishyWrites #12DaysofPoetry

“A Psalm from Sickness” – Day 6 of #12DaysofPoetry

On the 6th day of Christmas, Mishy gave to us…

A Psalm from Sickness

I am sick, God, don’t look upon me.

I’m not ready for You to speak to me, to use me, for I am not at my best. I am exhausted and
Frustrated, and I know I’m in need of some rest,
And I’m trying to take it easy – I’m trying to eat right.
I’m doing all the things I normally do at a time like this,
Like avoid too  much sugar and
Get enough sleep at night…

No, God, don’t touch me.
I’m unworthy of Your Presence, unworthy to be used by You,
To answer Your call.
How can I truly be focused on You when I’m too busy with this
Mindset of recovery?

I’ll handle it, God, just let me deal with this first.
Let me get my schedule together, myself organized before I
Can squeeze You into my day,
And read some verses in the Bible that should help me on the daily.

I need to heal me.

O, Lord…but I’m so incapable.
Why am I running from the One Who knows me and my needs?
Who sees me struggling, and longs to take my hand, and
Put me back on my feet,

I hear You now, God…You say…

“Come to Me.
Your sickness and messiness don’t scare me, even if they scare you.
Lie in my Arms for a moment, and just breathe.
You may be incapable, but I am faithful.

Let Me take My time with you.

You may not like it; you may want to rush it.
You may want to stop moving altogether, for fear that Your movements are careless.
Trust Me, I’m here. Let my Presence destroy all those fears of
Not being clean, healthy, or focused enough.

I will take you as you are.

Come look for Me with everything you are, and I will be sure to find you.

I want to work with your weakness.” 

~ written on October 9, 2017 at 4:12pm

#MishyWrites #12DaysofPoetry