Take Your Time

The night before my new site went live, I leaked my recorded spoken word “Some Nights…” to several girls who had been supporting me from the beginning of my process and journey towards this goal.

Many sweet comments were shared, but there was one in particular that truly encouraged me. 

This girl encouraged me to not feel rushed to release more stuff, but to take my time. She told me that those who truly supported me would be patient enough to wait as I prepared myself for what was to come. 

And even though my main concern that night was the website and spoken word dropping the next morning, I did realize that there was this unspoken pressure in the back of my mind that made me feel like I would have to continue to release pieces of mine sort of soon in order to stay relevant, to continue being a topic of conversation, and not just fall through the cracks.

But I would rather take my time in prayer, planning, and processing than throw stuff out there that wasn’t the same quality as the stuff I initially released. I am a perfectionist, after all.

Relief has swept over me through this sweet comment, and even though I do have a lot more work to do, I am more excited than nervous or fearful to continue working. 

It’s back to the drawing board for me. But some awesome stuff is coming up, and I cannot wait! 

But even with all of this excitement, I’m even more excited to take my time through this. To really embrace every portion of this process, and fall in love with working hard for where I want to be at the end of all of this. 

Time to get to it!

💙 Mishy 🦋

So Much Stronger.

I was reading my Bible this morning, and as I was flipping towards Acts (where I am currently reading), I opened up in Matthew, and a note card lay there.

On one side was a small list of “Jesus is…” notes I had made back when I was on Tybee Island. And on the other side in yellow Sharpie, these words were written:

“You are SO MUCH STRONGER than what he makes you feel like.”

I had to think about the context of this note card, and once I remembered, it amazed me to think how far I’d come since this situation.

These words were from a friend of mine, who had just heard the recent developments that I’d given her about the circumstance, and this was one of the lines she’d sent me in her many text messages. I wrote it down on a note card, and stuck it on my bedroom wall back on Tybee to remind me of the conversation, and to remind me that it was definitely true.

And as soon as I saw this note card, I knew I wanted to write about it. I knew I wanted to share it and the thoughts I had about it with people I knew were going through a similar situation I went through.

But this note card and its saying honestly speak volumes to me; because the “he” could be “it” or “they.” As a Christian, I believe that I am so much stronger than what I feel like sometimes – I’m so much stronger than the feelings of worry or fear. I am so much stronger than the circumstances of my life because I depend on the power of Jesus. I am more than a conqueror.

Now, of course, there are days when I don’t believe it as much. The world can really push my and your buttons sometimes, and our situations can make us believe that we are inadequate to handle them. They can make us feel that we are weak, incapable of getting out of the hole that we’ve found ourselves at the bottom of, unsure of how we got there. And I think it’s helpful as Christians to be reminded that, yes, although we are humans who make mistakes, we have the Holy Spirit instilled in us to help us through our circumstances, to push us further than we could on our own, to make us braver than we ever could be.

Yes, with the Holy Spirit, we are SO MUCH STRONGER than we could ever imagine. And thinking all of this makes me really want to challenge myself to affirm this thought every day. Because it’s easy to say, “Well, yeah, I have the Holy Spirit, and He’s powerful…,” but to really rest in that, and to live moment by moment, even through the difficulties of life, knowing that the capability to surpass that loneliness, that rejection, that fear of failure is within me? I mean, how powerful is that? I feel like it’s so powerful, I’m not even sure I can comprehend it in this life, but I pray that I can have a glimpse of it.

So tonight, I want to assure you – yes, you, dear reader – that you are SO MUCH STRONGER than whatever is going on in your life right now. That you are capable of moving past the hurt that others have brought upon you. That you are secure enough and strong enough to surrender your worries and fears to the Lord because He cares for you.

Through Christ, you are SO MUCH STRONGER than…[fill in the blank].

#MishyWrites

💙 Mishy 🦋

Second Wind

THE MONTH OF JUNE IS HERE!

I mean, it’s been here, and already it has brought a lot of busyness, more busyness and business than last month did. A lot of last minute things have been planned and are happening, and even though I’m feeling a little mentally, emotionally, and spiritually shook, I feel like I’m starting to come out of a little hole I’ve been in for a couple of weeks. I’m asking the Lord for strength to help me push through it.

Shout out to the people who’ve been constantly encouraging me during this time. Even if we never really talked about what was happening with me, and you’ve been praying for me, you’ll have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you for the thoughts and prayers!

With all the website stuff coming to a climax, things still needing to get done for that, lots of things in my personal life changing, and then me going on vacation in 5 days, things are just going to be getting busier. And all of these things can make my creative process suffer because of frustration, anger, or fear.

But that’s okay – I feel like I’ve caught my second wind, and I’m ready to embrace it, and to allow God to move through it. I was taught to be a fighter, to never give up. And I am more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus.

So, with all that being said, I’m sitting on my bedroom floor, two suitcases halfway packed for Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, and writing project stuff surrounding me. I still need to shower, still need to pick out an outfit for work tomorrow, preset my coffee maker, make my lunch for tomorrow, and actually get some sleep.

They never said the grind would be easy. As a good friend tells me all the time – if it were easy, everyone would be doing it.

Sorry if this post is hopping all over the place, I honestly feel like it’s capturing my train of thoughts right now. So, I’ll spare you reading anymore, and leave this post the way it is.

If this post doesn’t capture the essence of #JustStartWriting, I don’t know what does!

#MishyWrites

💙 Mishy 🦋

another writer’s rant (sorry lol)

There are some poets, thinkers, writers that I follow, and you know, I honestly long to be like them.

They’re able to tweet such profound thoughts that just click with you immediately, causing you to want to retweet instantly. Their writings also fit you like the perfect puzzle piece, as if they’d been spying on you during a season of your life, and decided to write works based on your experiences.

The power to relate to people – that is something I long for.

Not to say that I haven’t had those moments; I’ve had people comment on my posts, or message me saying that they really related to what I wrote about. And in those moments, I am grateful and super humbled. Like, who am I that someone should feel touched by my writing?

I know that that isn’t all my writing is about; there’s definitely more to it than just wanting to connect with people, although that is a huge motivator as to why I do it.

But connecting with people can also be a major pressure. I will admit, after I got some attention and recognition for my piece “Some Nights,” I was tempted in two major ways:

1. Believing  I Had “Made It”

Did I accomplish something cool and amazing? Yes, and I will forever be grateful for it because it was an opportunity given to me. But it was just a step; a major step that would really push me and motivate me to work towards some major goals. But nothing that would totally define me as “making it.” There’s still work to do.

And I think this type of thinking is something that’s hindering me from working. Even though I am pretty much on the bottom of the food chain here, I feel pride wanting to step in and be like, “Well, you accomplished this already, people should be asking you to do this or that. Or this opportunity should be open to you.” Pride even comes when nothing’s been said about my writing, and I’ve worked so hard on it. Like, I put out a piece or a thought that I think is pretty well-written and then there’s silence. And I’m like…”Well did NO ONE read it?”

These are just honest thoughts I’ve had, but haven’t dwelled on knowing that if I dwell on them for too long, I’ll really start to believe it. And I’m just being honest because I’m only human; I’m definitely not perfect, and it’s a battle and struggle every day to, as Kendrick Lamar says, “sit down, be humble.”

2. “Give the People What They Want”

It’s also difficult sometimes to have people watching and waiting for your writing. Even though as a writer, it’s something I desire – like I want people to be impatient to read what I have next – but once I started getting a little more attention because of my writing, I found I had to work really hard to focus on God and my life, goals, etc. Being in constant prayer is a must; I am incapable of being selfless without the help of the Holy Spirit.

And focusing on what others’ want to hear from me is a major temptation, but it never produces anything genuine, or anything I feel comfortable with sharing.

Writing for other people, although super tempting to do, just isn’t good. I mean, yeah, eventually I want to be writing for other people, meaning I want to write a book for people to read. And I don’t see a problem in writing a piece or poem for someone asking for it specifically for a project or song or whatever.

But I never want to write something based on the sole reason that it’s “what the people want.” Because the saying goes “give the people what they want,” but when it comes to dictating what I write, I honestly don’t want to be that writer. I want whatever I write to be God-inspired because I know that if it is so, the people who need to read it or hear it will hear it or read it in the exact time they need it because the Lord wills it so.

I honestly don’t know where any of what I just wrote came from. Just some thoughts cycling in the back of my mind as I go throughout my day, I guess.

“Everyday grind.” a friend just texted me. And it’s no lie, it is a grind for real.

Prayers appreciated! And, if you anyone else feels like this – be it about writing, or anything else they’re passionate about – I’d love to know your thoughts! Email me, tweet at me, DM me, I feel like all my social media is pretty known!

Sweet dreams, luvvies!

#MishyWrites

💙 Mishy 🦋

 

walls.

“Story of my life I can’t quite comprehend. Don’t tell me if you know how it ends.”

These are some words from one of my favorite artists, The Rocket Summer i.e. Bryce Avary from his song “Walls.”

Honestly, I’ve been quite discouraged about where I am in my work. I’ve gotten pretty distracted by other projects, and other changes happening in my life (like work schedules and wisdom teeth surgery), and I feel like the clock is winding down on everything I need to accomplish, and because I’ve been doing a poor job at accomplishing things, I just need to surrender and realize it’s not going to get done.

I’ve been so discouraged that I almost didn’t do a #MotivationalMishyMonday tonight on Instagram live. Yes, I initially forgot about it, but the truth of the matter is, once I realized I needed to do it, I didn’t want to because I as feeling down and out. How could an unmotivated person like me go on Instagram and try to be all motivational for other people?

Just as I wrote about in my last post about being single, I was tempted to create another wall; a wall that hindered me from doing the work I knew needed to get done. A wall that discouraged me from even taking a step in the right direction towards accomplishing my goals. A wall of keeping silent about struggling through being unmotivated. And wanting to build this wall made me not want to do an IG live.

“I’ll help you break the walls down.”

But I’m so glad I went live; because I was very honest with the people who were live with me about how I was feeling about everything I was working on, and each person gave me some amazing pieces of advice that I feel like I needed to hear.

Even though I expressed this a little during the live, I want to thank each and every person who was there and who encouraged me, or even just talked to me tonight. Even though we may not know each other well or personally, your presence was needed in this exact moment in my life, and the Lord knew it.

This isn’t to say that people who didn’t join the live weren’t or aren’t as helpful to me in my times of discouragement. But here in this moment, I needed to hear the words that were said (or typed). I normally go on IG live to encourage others, but a lot of the time, I find that I am encourage by the people who join.

So, with another week officially started, I am willing to really re-prioritize why I’m doing all that I’m doing (thank you, Hannah). I’m ready to keep praying more and seeking the Lord on all that is going on. I’m ready to change my space; to rearrange some things so that my mind isn’t distracted by things surrounding me (thank you, Brittany). I am currently texting my best friend about what’s going on, telling her my feelings, and asking for advice and prayer (thank you, MiMi).

Thank you all for helping break my walls down. Thank you to Bryce Avary for writing and making music that will help re-focus my intentions, and express what I’m feeling. Thank You, Jesus, for a three-day weekend, and another start to a new week.

Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.”

#MishyWrites

💙 Mishy 🦋

end-of-the-week blessings. – a reflection

Guys. This week though.

I’ve been so busy, and normally, I feel extremely overwhelmed when I’ve been as busy as I have been this week. I am tired because I’ve been doing a lot this week, and haven’t gotten the proper amount of sleep every single night…

But you know, the amount of sleep I’ve been getting hasn’t been bad. Sure, I’ve had some weird dreams, but other than that, my nights have been pretty restful.

And even though some weekly goals have been thrown aside for a little bit, I feel like other goals have been met, goals that I’ve been talking about for months, but haven’t gotten around to. This week, I was able to start some new things, and it felt really good.

So, this week wasn’t perfect; I definitely have some things I need to improve on. I totally felt weak more than a few times throughout the past several days. I’m even grateful for times like that; keeps me humble and grounded, always relying on God more than on myself, or the people around me.

But I thank the Lord for giving me the days I had this week, the times I was able to do some things out of the norm, the people I was able to spend time with.

I’m thankful that the Lord has shown me an endless amount of grace, and even through me struggling through my quiet times recently, He has reminded me of His steadfast love through His Word, despite me feeling distant from Him.

I’m grateful that it’s the weekend, and that even through all of the different events I had going on this week, I can actually see the bottom of my bedroom floor.

End-of-the week blessings right here. I still need to fold the clean laundry that I did last week, and probably clear off my bed so I can actually sleep. But, I have clothes to wear, and a bed to sleep in.

Blessings upon blessings!

💙 Mishy 🦋

Make It Less Mundane.

Hey guys!

Sorry I missed writing to y’all yesterday, it was little busier/crazier than I thought it would be (plus, I totally forgot to bring my laptop to my grandparents’ house, and it’s just easier to blog from there).

But I just wanted to express something that’s been on my heart lately, and it’s something I even talked to one of my close friends about.

Following Jesus. Staying in the Word. Not wavering in the faith.

Truthfully, I haven’t been feeling the same when it comes to these things. I feel as if I’ve sort of hit the ceiling when it comes to this stuff. Not that I know everything there is to know about God or the Bible; I understand that I need to be growing in my faith. But I just feel like I’m not learning it in my quiet times in the morning.

Maybe it’s because I’m feeling rushed about my quiet time in the morning because lately, I’ve been getting up later than I should. Or maybe it’s because my mind is so distracted by all the things I have going on. Or maybe it’s the Enemy telling me that I’m not getting anything out of my quiet time, so, what’s the point of even doing it?

I feel like I’m in a dangerous position; I have so much I’m doing and thinking about, and I feel like I just need a couple of hours or a day away from it all to realign my focus, my purpose for why I’m doing the things I’m doing.

Things may look like they’re going great on the outside, but really, I feel like I just need Jesus to hold me right now. To assure me that He is still by my side, and is still holding my hand through everything going on right now. I believe that He is still there, but I crave to continue learning more about Him; to not be so content with where I am in my faith; to not have my time with Him every day feel so mundane, or to just see my Bible-reading time as simply a habit.

I want more faith than I have right now. Increase my faith, Lord!

#MishyWrites

💙 Mishy 🦋