Remembering the Roots (write on, pt. 3)

Recently, someone I follow on Instagram posted on their story that they were getting back to blogging, and I asked them what their blog link was. After telling me, they expressed how healing blogging could be, and that statement made me pause and think about whether blogging was actually healing for me, or whether I saw it more as a duty I had to accomplish.

Honestly, I can tell you I’ve felt both. But the healing aspects of blogging have totally outweighed the “have-to” feelings.

I tweeted / Snapchatted / InstaStoried this last night, but I’ve been missing daily blogging. So much so that I’m trying to get back to blogging every day – to get back to the roots of how this whole process began. To those who don’t know how the whole #JustStartWriting and daily blogging began, I won’t go into full detail about it until everything is updated on June 21st.

But just know that this has been a cornerstone, a foundation of this whole process. And even though I’ve been busy with other creative endeavors and have felt the need to leave this behind, I know in my heart I just can’t. It doesn’t feel right to me to not write on here every day (except for Sundays, that is).

And even though I’ve gone weeks and sometimes almost months without typing a word here, know that each time I was absent on the blog, there was a little bit of guilt that settled within my soul. I always felt like a piece of me was missing. And even though I may have stopped blogging in obedience to where God was leading me, it didn’t make the absence of daily blogging hurt any less. Even though I knew what I was doing was right, I longed to have my fingers back on my laptop keyboard. I ached to pour my thoughts out to you all here in this little space of mine.

All this to say – it’s important to not forget where you came from, where you started.

When I was in college, sure, I was changing into someone new, becoming more of who I am today, changing some habits I had had in high school. But a major part of me was still the same; I didn’t forget what my parents taught me, what they instilled within me for the first seventeen years of my life. And those same things are still with me as I’ve completed a full year of adulthood, and am entering year number two.

The roots of your journey – be it the journey of a project, your talent, a career, or your life – are vital to the current work you’re doing now. Don’t forget them. Hold them close.

I thank God for providing this platform for me, for giving me the wisdom and patience to be able to write to you all on here every day. Without Him it would be impossible, and I am reminded of how dependent I am upon Him, and how much He has inspired this process every day.

And until the Lord has told me otherwise, I will continue to be here. I will continue to write on.

#MishyWrites #JustStartWriting

πŸ’™ Mishy πŸ¦‹

She is Home.

She walked along the shore, searching for shark teeth among the remnants of shells that had made their home in the wet sand. Occasionally, she would bend down to get a better look, to pick up what she thought would be a shark tooth, to dig her fingers through the sand.

She was home. 

She would stand at the edge of the shore, and squint at the sun reflecting off of the ocean. How she could have taken this place for granted, she didn’t know.

But now – now she was fully present. Fully aware of how much this place provided a sowing ground for her to truly grow into who she was right then. What was it that someone once said? A seed must grow through dirt in order to become a beautiful flower? 

So it was with her. 

The memories of this place weren’t all difficult or stressful; there were definitely days in which she smiled her brightest smile, days in which she would ride around the island, and realize the beauty that the Lord had created. Days in which she acknowledged the blessing it was to be living a long-time dream of her childhood.

 Yet there were the hard times, and she couldn’t deny it; times when she would find herself questioning why she had to go through things, why some things that were given had to be taken away, why there wasn’t an easier solution that could ease the pain she constantly carried with her.

There were so many times she thought she’d moved on, when really, the pride of this thought only caused her to turn a blind eye to the worries that choked her into silence. Or so it thought.

Now. She is back. She is home. And she understands.

She looks back at those times, and sees the Lord’s hand in it, and she is on her knees thanking God for it all – even for the pain – and praying that He continues to lead her.

Because even though He has given her this sweet time – this time to return to a place so pivotal in her journey – she knows that it isn’t over. This hilltop experience will not last long, and she is asking for the patience, the strength, and the courage to continue on. 

But for now…she is home. She is well, and at peace. All the things she’d been holding onto have now been released. 

Thank You, Jesus.

#JustStartWriting

πŸ’™ Mishy πŸ¦‹

a writer’s fears / thoughts / prayers.

Lately, I’ve been having this fear in the back of my mind that I’ll run out of stuff to write about.

You may be thinking, “That’s impossible! If you’re living life, there’s no way you can run out of stuff to write.”

True, but I guess along with this fear of mine is another fear that I’ll lose inspiration and insight to the world around me. That I won’t be able to write as eloquently about the things going on, the people I meet, the emotions I feel, or anything that the Lord has placed on my heart to say.

I can’t see what’s in front of me.
Still I will trust You.
Still I will trust You.

Currently, I’m praying for guidance and peace. For God to just steady me as I work on the details of the plans I want to go through with. Lately, when I sit down to write sometimes, or even during the day when I think about having to write later, I grow sick because I’m scared that I’ve lost it. I’m afraid that the words I’m typing or writing just don’t make sense, don’t mean anything, don’t matter to anyone.

I’m trying to go back to the days when I wrote simply for myself. I guess I always knew I had an audience, but that never really mattered to me until now. Now that I’m more concerned about who’s reading, it’s hard for me to write.

No, I can’t see what’s in front of me.
Still I will trust You.
Still I will trust You.

Even as I write this now, I’m not sure if there’s anyone who can connect with me on this. Have you ever been afraid to do what you love because you weren’t sure how it would be received? All I want to do is write what I feel, write the Truth in comparison to it all, and have someone connect with it, some way, somehow.

Steady heart that keeps on going , steady Love that keeps on hoping,
Lead me on.
Steady Grace that keeps forgiving, steady faith that keeps believing,
Lead me on.

Despite all the thinking and planning I’ve been doing, I find it hard to pray. I do anyway because I know that without prayer, without consulting my Heavenly Father about my plans and thoughts, they are meaningless. They aren’t even worth pursuing if I haven’t considered the most important factor in all of this. And as I pray, I am so fearful; I feel like my faith is wavering. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but because I’m still human, I had hoped that maybe God would just make this a little easier for me.

But following Him isn’t easy. He never promised it would be.

Though the sky is dark, and the wind is wild,
You’ll never leave me.
You’ll never leave me.

And even though initially I felt that as I wrote this, it didn’t even make sense to me, God is gracious enough to allow it now to make a little sense. I need to write this; I needed to feel this. I needed to feel needy; I needed to need Him.

Though the night is long, there is a coming dawn,
The Light is breaking.
The Light is breaking.

Even in the moments when I feel like I’m out of control, like I can’t do this writing thing anymore, like I’m all out of emotions, words, inspiration, God somehow always comes through for me. It may not be in the way I expect it, or even want it.

Steady heart that keeps on going, steady Love that keeps on hoping,
Lead me on.
Steady Grace that keeps forgiving, steady faith that keeps believing,
Lead me on.

But I know that I just need to trust Him.

I need follow Him.

Allow Him to lead my heart, mind, soul;

Allow Him to guide my hand, pen, fingers, words.

And as the dawn breaks,
And the clouds clear,
In an open space,
Together we will run.

*text in bold and italics are from the song “Steady Heart (feat. Amanda Cook)” by Steffany Gretzinger

#JustStartWriting

πŸ’™ Mishy πŸ¦‹

from my restless mind.

Clothes. Everywhere. Scattered on the floor, bunched up on the bed, piled into a bin.

 

I am just in need of a vacation. I can feel the restlessness in my body starting to sink in. I have so much to do before I can leave – like actually packing for my tripΒ – but right now, I am so tired. I think my mind is waiting for me to just get through tomorrow’s work day, andΒ then I can have the energy to get prepare for my trip.

Even though this trip is going to be awesome, I know some things will probably be thrown off, such as my reading schedule (you can only pack so many books for a long weekend trip). And I tend to throw blogging to the wind sometimes, even though being in a different place is the perfect opportunity to write about my adventures. I guess maybe I think that just because I don’t do anything huge when I’m out of town, it’s not worth writing about. Well, I’m going to declare a break in that habit right here and right now. My writing is important, and I’m going to stick it out, despite being on vacation or not.

Here’s a little poem I wrote almost a month ago, and after reading it, I feel like it totally still describes where I am right now. I’m still growing in a lot of things – loving and taking care of myself more, writing more vulnerably, placing my relationship with God above all else – but even this morning, I could feel a little unrest. This poem focuses a lot on being at peace with who I’m becoming, which is sort of where my mind has been today, but mostly, I am feeling this line: I’m so distracted. I need to distance myself from it all.

I am praying for peace right now; peace with where I am, peace with who I am, peace as I lay my head down to sleep.

I pray peace over you all as well, if your heart is feeling a little unsettled or restless.

 

I’m still getting used to
Coming into my own.
Being okay with where I am instead of
Worrying about,
Keeping up with,
Trying to be like
Everyone else.

I’ve got things to do.
I feel called to certain things but
I’m so distracted.
I need to distance myself from it all.
Take a leap of faith instead of
Worrying about whether I’ll fall
And never recover.
If the Spirit has made it clear,
There should be

Nothing,
No one

Stopping me from
Doing the things I now hold dear.

I am me.
Someone no one else can be.
No one can do me like I can do me.

Knowing this
Should set me free.

#JustStartWriting

Mishy

 

 

Float On / Just Keep Swimming

Waking up an forty-five minutes before your alarm goes off to lie in bed, and scroll through a little social media on your phone, all the while listening to the faint sounds of your coffee maker in the kitchen, preparing two cups of coffee for you. The coffee should motivate you out of bed, but doesn’t for thirty minutes.

You eventually hop out of bed, and exit your room, knowing one of your roommates is already awake. The morning is peaceful; you have your quiet time with your coffee, interact with your roommates who leave to their proper meetings and places, and you are left alone in the apartment to get ready for the day.

Cleaning your room is an option as you wait to hear from a friend, but instead you lip-sync to one of your favorite albums, until you receive a text from the friend, asking when would be a good time to meet.

The adventure begins…

 

Guys, I just realized I have like fifteen minutes until midnight, which mean Saturday will be over, which means I wouldn’t have posted every day except for Sunday like I used to. So, I’m stopping the dramatic writing now to say this…

Today was awesome.

I went to the aquarium with Caylin, and we got to walk through all the exhibits, which was super fun. She had never touched the sting rays in the touch tank, and she’d  never been to the butterfly room before, so it was cool to see her interact in those settings.

But guys…my favorite part was the jellyfish.

When I was on Tybee last summer, I found out two of my favorite things: my favorite flower (which is a hibiscus), and my favorite sea animal (which is a jellyfish). And although jellyfish don’t have brains, and just seem to be useless little blobs with dangerous stinging tentacles floating around in the ocean, I just somehow resonate with them. I wondered aloud to Caylin while in the jellyfish exhibit why God would create such creatures because it seemed like they didn’t really fit in the food chain of everything. Like, what animal eats jellyfish without being stung??

And Caylin simply replied, “Maybe it’s just so they can be here. So we can look at them like this.” And you know, if that’s the case, I’m truly grateful. I don’t mind seeing jellyfish on the shores of Tybee, although it makes me sort of sad knowing they’re all washed up and probably dead. But there’s nothing like seeing them floating around semi-freely in aquarium tanks. They look like little blobs in a lava lamp. They just seem so care-free.

Maybe that’s why they’re my favorite sea animals – because they just keep floating on without a care. They’re not concerned about having brains or not, or about who’s going to eat them or what they’re going to eat. They just keep swimming (haha, Finding Nemo reference) on. And I strive to be like that – to just keep floating on without a worry, knowing that God’s going to take care of me.

I also like them because they look so cute and squishy, but anywayssss. Check out my latest Instagram posts of pictures of them from today (@mishy_127).

Five more minutes to wrap this up AHH!

So, we went to the aquarium, ate at Cheeburger Cheeburger for the first time (10/10 would recommend!), I had a great phone conversation with a friend of mine (confirming details about next weekend’s trip YAY!), then went to an Arbonne party thing with Caylin to try some products and hang out. Twas a great adventure. I wish I had more time to talk about it in detail, but here we are.

Oh! And I got a new book to read for Sunday: The Best Yes by Lysa TerKreust. I’m excited to read another one of her books since I enjoyed Uninvited so much!

And I also went to the store with one of my roomies to get ingredients for traditional Mexican wedding cookies. A fun activity just in case we get snowed in tomorrow! 😁

Hmmm, am I missing something? No? Okay, good night!

OH WAIT! Don’t forget to “spring forward” all your clocks! And be happy…we may lose an hour of sleep, BUT the sun sets later in the day! SUMMER IS ON IT’S WAY!!!

#JustStartWriting

πŸ’™ Mishy πŸ¦‹

The Full Moon of February 10th, 2017.

I wanted to take a picture of the moon tonight but

I knew it wouldn’t be what I wanted it to be. 

It was already perfect without looking

Through a lens,

Through a screen,

Through the expectations of 

My perfectionist self.

So 

As I watched it clearly through the car window,

As I walked from my car toward my house,

As it peered through tree branches from my backyard,

I decided to let it be

In all its fullness 

Perfectly. 

#JustStartWriting

πŸ’™ Mishy πŸ¦‹

“Belief in Beauty”

This is gonna be EXTREMELY short because I haven’t had enough sleep for the past couple of nights. An excerpt from the drafts. Just a thought. 

Sweet dreams, guys! 😘
“Belief in Beauty”

You don’t need anyone tellin you that

You’re beautiful

To know your beauty,

Your worth. 

It’s nice to be told that,

To physically hear those words aimed at 

Who you are. 

But it’s even better to believe it yourself. 

#FromtheDrafts #JustStartWriting

πŸ’™ Mishy πŸ¦‹