another writer’s rant (sorry lol)

There are some poets, thinkers, writers that I follow, and you know, I honestly long to be like them.

They’re able to tweet such profound thoughts that just click with you immediately, causing you to want to retweet instantly. Their writings also fit you like the perfect puzzle piece, as if they’d been spying on you during a season of your life, and decided to write works based on your experiences.

The power to relate to people – that is something I long for.

Not to say that I haven’t had those moments; I’ve had people comment on my posts, or message me saying that they really related to what I wrote about. And in those moments, I am grateful and super humbled. Like, who am I that someone should feel touched by my writing?

I know that that isn’t all my writing is about; there’s definitely more to it than just wanting to connect with people, although that is a huge motivator as to why I do it.

But connecting with people can also be a major pressure. I will admit, after I got some attention and recognition for my piece “Some Nights,” I was tempted in two major ways:

1. Believing  I Had “Made It”

Did I accomplish something cool and amazing? Yes, and I will forever be grateful for it because it was an opportunity given to me. But it was just a step; a major step that would really push me and motivate me to work towards some major goals. But nothing that would totally define me as “making it.” There’s still work to do.

And I think this type of thinking is something that’s hindering me from working. Even though I am pretty much on the bottom of the food chain here, I feel pride wanting to step in and be like, “Well, you accomplished this already, people should be asking you to do this or that. Or this opportunity should be open to you.” Pride even comes when nothing’s been said about my writing, and I’ve worked so hard on it. Like, I put out a piece or a thought that I think is pretty well-written and then there’s silence. And I’m like…”Well did NO ONE read it?”

These are just honest thoughts I’ve had, but haven’t dwelled on knowing that if I dwell on them for too long, I’ll really start to believe it. And I’m just being honest because I’m only human; I’m definitely not perfect, and it’s a battle and struggle every day to, as Kendrick Lamar says, “sit down, be humble.”

2. “Give the People What They Want”

It’s also difficult sometimes to have people watching and waiting for your writing. Even though as a writer, it’s something I desire – like I want people to be impatient to read what I have next – but once I started getting a little more attention because of my writing, I found I had to work really hard to focus on God and my life, goals, etc. Being in constant prayer is a must; I am incapable of being selfless without the help of the Holy Spirit.

And focusing on what others’ want to hear from me is a major temptation, but it never produces anything genuine, or anything I feel comfortable with sharing.

Writing for other people, although super tempting to do, just isn’t good. I mean, yeah, eventually I want to be writing for other people, meaning I want to write a book for people to read. And I don’t see a problem in writing a piece or poem for someone asking for it specifically for a project or song or whatever.

But I never want to write something based on the sole reason that it’s “what the people want.” Because the saying goes “give the people what they want,” but when it comes to dictating what I write, I honestly don’t want to be that writer. I want whatever I write to be God-inspired because I know that if it is so, the people who need to read it or hear it will hear it or read it in the exact time they need it because the Lord wills it so.

I honestly don’t know where any of what I just wrote came from. Just some thoughts cycling in the back of my mind as I go throughout my day, I guess.

“Everyday grind.” a friend just texted me. And it’s no lie, it is a grind for real.

Prayers appreciated! And, if you anyone else feels like this – be it about writing, or anything else they’re passionate about – I’d love to know your thoughts! Email me, tweet at me, DM me, I feel like all my social media is pretty known!

Sweet dreams, luvvies!

#MishyWrites

πŸ’™ Mishy πŸ¦‹

 

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