Clothes. Everywhere. Scattered on the floor, bunched up on the bed, piled into a bin.
I am just in need of a vacation. I can feel the restlessness in my body starting to sink in. I have so much to do before I can leave – like actually packing for my trip – but right now, I am so tired. I think my mind is waiting for me to just get through tomorrow’s work day, and then I can have the energy to get prepare for my trip.
Even though this trip is going to be awesome, I know some things will probably be thrown off, such as my reading schedule (you can only pack so many books for a long weekend trip). And I tend to throw blogging to the wind sometimes, even though being in a different place is the perfect opportunity to write about my adventures. I guess maybe I think that just because I don’t do anything huge when I’m out of town, it’s not worth writing about. Well, I’m going to declare a break in that habit right here and right now. My writing is important, and I’m going to stick it out, despite being on vacation or not.
Here’s a little poem I wrote almost a month ago, and after reading it, I feel like it totally still describes where I am right now. I’m still growing in a lot of things – loving and taking care of myself more, writing more vulnerably, placing my relationship with God above all else – but even this morning, I could feel a little unrest. This poem focuses a lot on being at peace with who I’m becoming, which is sort of where my mind has been today, but mostly, I am feeling this line: I’m so distracted. I need to distance myself from it all.
I am praying for peace right now; peace with where I am, peace with who I am, peace as I lay my head down to sleep.
I pray peace over you all as well, if your heart is feeling a little unsettled or restless.
I’m still getting used to
Coming into my own.
Being okay with where I am instead of
Keeping up with,
Trying to be like
I’ve got things to do.
I feel called to certain things but
I’m so distracted.
I need to distance myself from it all.
Take a leap of faith instead of
Worrying about whether I’ll fall
And never recover.
If the Spirit has made it clear,
There should be
Stopping me from
Doing the things I now hold dear.
I am me.
Someone no one else can be.
No one can do me like I can do me.
Should set me free.