I always thought that my constant change of interests was a bad thing.
Like, I would start something, but never finish it – a story, a journal (there are waaay too many unfinished journals from my high school years in boxes back at home), a hobby (crocheting, painting, etc.). And as I grew older, I was always discouraged about this habit of mine to start things and never finish them.
It wasn’t a consistent thing; most stories I started, I finished. Since graduating from college, I’ve finished a few journals already. I’ve been able to find a new love for photography, not so much to do photoshoots, but to have an eye for the beauty in everything.
But since I’m wanting to start something else – this new YouTube channel of mine – I’m a little afraid of a few things…
- I won’t finish my writing plans. The list of things I’ve been wanting to do with my writing is small, but so crucial, and will take so much time to accomplish. Already, I feel like I’ve failed because I haven’t been spending as much time as I’d like to on a couple of writing projects I’ve set my mind to. I know things take time, but honestly, I’m impatient when it comes to my craft. I like to have results now. But I do want to do my best, so I know that taking my time is crucial. I guess I want it to be done as quickly as possible so I don’t have time to toss it by the wayside.
- I won’t launch my YouTube channel…Or I’ll launch it, and then post only once or twice, and never post again because I’m working on my writing, or because I’ll be too tired from work, or I’ll be traveling or something. Part of me just wants to launch it, and get it over with, kind of like my writing, but again, I know it’s going to take time.
- I’ll be so worried about perfecting these things, I’ll miss the big picture of it all. Like, I’m always concerned that what I’m doing isn’t what I should be doing. Should I be writing? Should I be launching a weekly vlog? I don’t know. And I’m always afraid to start something because I don’t know if I’ll finish it or accomplish my goal.
But when I type all of this out, I know that I always go back to this: I can’t let the fear of not finishing something stall me from even starting it.
I gotta take the leap, and just start and see where it takes me. Better than just sitting around, wondering and dreaming about doing it. Do vs. dream…I’m pretty sure I wrote a post on that a few months ago.
And, the more I think about it, there was never a problem with me having a constant change of interests. It’s all a part of growing up, and growing into more of what you’re interested in. I dropped crocheting, and took up guitar instead. I still have my guitar, but I definitely don’t play it as much (although both roommates will be gone the rest of this week so hmmmm…). Things and interests change as time changes. It’s natural and nothing I need to be down on myself about.
Anyways, just some thoughts of mine as I try to sort out my time with my creative mind this week. So much to do, and a good amount of time. Just how to divide it. That is the question.
💙 Mishy 🦋