for momma and honey.

I wrote this piece near the end of last month, and considered posting it later on, maybe for Mother’s Day, but thought maybe it was appropriate to post it today since it is International Women’s Day. Truthfully, I feel like it’s still a little rough around the edges, but here it is.

I dedicate this to two of the most important women in my life, who have loved on me and taught me so many things that I know today. And still, despite distance, I am continuing to learn from them. Every day, I do something or say something that I can point back to something my momma or Honey (my step-momma) taught/told me.

So, this is for you, Momma and Honey. I love you, and thank God for you both.

***

I had a thought this morning as I untwisted my hair, separating the ringlets and curls…

I come from a lineage of strong women. I was raised by strong women. All the women in my family are strong. Capable. Fierce.

My mother taught me about hard work. Perseverance. Endurance. Never giving up hope. Staying strong in the faith. Taking the high road to take care of her babies, her daughters, the girls she deemed princesses, yes, she never took the easy way out. She never let doubt stay in her head and her heart. Her love for me and my sisters is stronger than any earthly love I have ever felt.

I look back on the days of her absence, and understand why she was gone. Every day without her was a day she strove so I could have days with her in sight. I swear, the amount of days she now sees my face are double the amount she went without.

She worked hard. She prayed hard. She loved and still loves so hard.

She refused for her reality of living most of her life without her own mother to become my reality. I never really thought of this until now.

Many people say I favor Momma in the way I look. I pray that as I grow older, I will favor her in the way that she thinks, believes, lives, loves.

My stepmother also taught me strength in many of the same ways. Her insight and intuition of the human heart – particularly my heart – led her to express her concern over my fragility. I never understood her concerns until I grew older, and my patterns of loving others harder than loving the Lord and loving myself made it evident that her wisdom was something to behold, treasure, hold tight to.

She knows me better than I know myself. She saw the softness in me, encouraged it in the areas it would work well in, and warned me in the ways it could hurt me.

She has been through a lot – physically, she has been tested. Emotionally unrested at times, specifically when her own mother, a ray of sunshine to so many lives I can’t even count,  unexpectedly left this earth during my ripe age of sixteen.

But spiritually, she has been a rock.

She has stood her ground when all hope couldn’t be found. She has reminded me of the Lord’s promises when my life seemed to come unwound.

And even though we’re not related through blood, I am told that I favor Honey as well. And I pray that I do in more ways than one.

And I guess that time will tell.

 

#JustStartWriting

💙 Mishy 🦋

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