Self-Evaluation on “Sunshine Through Rain”

I was going to write two blog posts yesterday, and just have them on hold for when I was ready to post them. But I figured that would then be cheating on Sunday, the day I’m supposed to rest from writing. I was scared that I would lose my words, or the way in which I would thread these words together. A day later, and here I am, the same thoughts in my heart and ready to be spoken to you awesome readers of mine. Praise the Lord. 

Yesterday in church, I sat and listened to the sermon on forgiveness – being forgiven and forgiving. And I became so convicted of my attitude toward the situations that occurred in the previous week. Because they’d caused me to feel very unforgiving towards certain people – like I had been completely wronged, and those people didn’t deserve to gain any positivity from me. 

Sure, I may have been justified in how I felt because of how ridiculous some of the situations were. But as I sat in my seat, and thought about my attitude, and some of my actions as well, I felt totally ashamed. 

I placed myself in different people’s shoes, and thought, What if I were in their position? I also considered what their reactions would have been had they known I was angrily expressing my frustration behind their backs to other people I knew. And thinking back to my behavior and attitude, I saw how un-Christlike I had been last week. And it hurt me to think how wrong I had been, especially when all last week I had expressed how wrong other people had been. 

What hurt worse though was realizing that what I had been saying wasn’t going to show the love of Jesus to anyone – not the people I had been frustrated with, and not the people I had been expressing my frustration to.

So with resolve, I decided that I would make things right somehow. It wouldn’t erase what had happened last week, but it would bring a better light to becoming a better Christian in the future. I wrote a letter to someone, telling them I hoped they had a better week than the last, and pairing it with a rice krispy treat (to those who don’t know, I’ve had a MAJOR obsession with rice krispy treats recently…so much so, that I bought a box of 40 of them. 40!!! Don’t worry, though, I haven’t been eating them alone; I’ve been sharing them with my housemates, friends, coworkers, etc. haha 😂).

And I made personal decision that, if the events of last week were to happen again for me this week or the weeks to come, I would have a more positive attitude and reaction to it than I did last week. Truthfully, many of the things that happened, although sort of annoying, were actually a blessing. 

Now, I won’t go as far as saying my attitude change and simple note would lead someone to follow Jesus. Maybe it will be a step towards that, who knows. But as a Christian, I am called to show the love of Christ, whether that be to the person’s face or not. Through a small gift or through my attitude, be it seen or unseen. Because the Lord sees all, and knows all the matters of the heart of man. And just knowing that my attitude is better serving my Savior is good enough for me to change my tune. I pray that, from this week on, I will be better at that, no matter how frustrating life gets. 

I’m asking the following questions, not so you can comment answers to them (although, if you’d like to share your answers with me in the comments or in a DM on Twitter or Instagram, I’d LOVE to hear from you!), but more for your personal sake. So…

Have you ever been convicted about something you said or did? How did you handle that? In what ways did you resolve to change your behavior?

#JustStartWriting 

💙 Mishy 🦋

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