I lie here with eyes closed, my feet hanging off the bed of a dear friend who I may not even be able to see today. But I look forward to seeing her and her roommate sometime soon.
I am full in all sorts of ways – physically from food, emotionally from being with people that I love and care about, even if just for a short amount of time. And I get to continue this all weekend, a thought that is overflowing the fullness I feel.
Spiritually, I am continually being filled. The late-night journey to Chattanooga had me processing many thoughts that were and are constantly on my mind. The darkness of the night encouraged anxiety and anger; it urged me to succumb to the fragility of my humanness, to crumble beneath hopelessness.
“I’ve been listening to all of the voices
In my head
I can’t imagine life without such noises
How could I feel this way, though, when I was traveling to a place I love so dearly, and surrounding myself with those who mean most to me? As I cried, I thought to myself, How selfish is this? You have too much to be grateful for.
Peace was brought through the voice of one whom I’d listened to for years. His words, whether written recently or years ago, always seemed to comfort me. A smile played on my lips as I watched what I could see of the world through my window. Tears of joy painted over the streaks of grief that stained my cheeks.
“When the night sheds light on the guilt
When memories of failed attempts fire at will
When hate, like sheets of rain, drown your hope, once plentiful,
You are, You are
Still are, still are
You are beautiful.”
“Get up. Don’t stay down.”