I’m feeling a lot of things tonight, guys. I feel…
…Like a Soccer Mom
I’m definitely not into soccer (sorry to those who are), and I am DEFINITELY not a mom, but I’ve been running around what seems to be non-stop for the past few days, and for some reason it is what I would think a soccer mom would feel like.
Like I imagine a soccer mom always running around trying to get her kids ready for school, getting their practice gear and uniforms together, making their lunches, cleaning their rooms…
Only, I’m doing all that for myself. Not for soccer or for kids, but for my own freaking life in general.
I’m currently back in my room, but it’s a total mess. I have no sheets on my bed. All the stuff that was in my little sister’s room is now piled in the middle of the main portion of the floor anyone can walk on.
I haven’t showered/done my hair for tomorrow. I haven’t even made a lunch for work tomorrow.
Instead, I’m blogging because I have to write every day. And because I want to, of course. #priorities
But seeing all this, and then trying to wind down because of my busy day today (from work to Annabelle’s volleyball game to back home to Addie’s house to church then back to Addie’s house, and now back to home) is just all so exhausting.
I am so tired. I’m freaking twenty-one. I should not be upset/cranky because it’s almost 11pm and I’m not in bed.
Yep. This is also how I’m feeling. Silence. Nothing. Like, I could sit here and stare at the wall, and just …
Tonight I went to the college-age/twenties group my church has on Monday nights. I was tempted not to go because I was feeling soccer mom-ish, but I decided it was probably the best time for me to go – when I was tired and vulnerable and in need of some encouragement.
And I’m glad I went. No, it wasn’t one of those times where God spoke directly to my situation in my life, but He totally did speak. And I was really challenged to rethink how I think about Jesus and Christianity.
A quote that I keep remembering from tonight is: “The only thing you can add to your salvation is the sin that makes it necessary.”
Like…what. Can you just stop and think about that quote for a second? I definitely had to/still am. What are your thoughts on the quote above?
This quote was said in the context of people trying to earn their salvation instead of simply having faith that Jesus is Lord, and died on the Cross for all the sins of the world, and believing that that is ENOUGH for one to be saved. There’s a tendency in the mind of a Christian sometimes to think that Jesus + how I behave/how perfect I am = salvation.
I probably shouldn’t blanket that over every Christian, but I know I struggle with it a lot, being a struggling perfectionist. It is true that, if you are a Christian, your faith should be evident in how you act and what you say. It doesn’t mean you don’t slip up because we’re still sinners. But we can have the freedom of knowing that Christ forgives us, and we can do our best to glorify Him in striving to obey His Word.
But I know I have a tendency to think that my actions are how my faith is fed, and that’s not how it works. When I can’t read my Bible in the morning because I’ve overslept (again), I sometimes feel guilty, and feel like God won’t grant me a good day because I couldn’t fit Him in.
When I type it out, and read it to myself, I know that sounds and reads silly. I know it doesn’t work like that. But in a short moment, I feel that way, and I know that isn’t how Jesus works.
And this isn’t to say that Christians can’t bear fruit within their faith. But that fruit doesn’t add to salvation; it doesn’t make you any more or less saved. I think I sometimes truly miss out on understanding that Jesus dying on the Cross is the only way I am capable of being saved. Nothing else. Nothing I say/don’t say. Nothing I do/don’t do.
So, tonight, and for the rest of this week, I’m challenged to re-evaluate who Jesus is – what the Bible has to say about Him, how I’ve seen Him work in my life, what He’s meant to me in my life, who He is in the context of, well, everything.
I’m super excited about this. I think it’s something that I really need to do, and I’m really ready to just learn more about my Savior.
I’m probably going to start in the Gospels, but if any of you readers out there have any suggestions, you hit me up, seriously! Some of y’all have my number…those who don’t can comment under this post.
Anyways, I really gotta get a move on. It’s basically 11pm, and I don’t have a bed to sleep on right now/the hair on my head does not look work worthy/I need to just be still and pray for a bit after tonight.
I love y’all. I hope the beginning of your week wasn’t too stressful. Mondays can be just as happy as Fridays. Make sure that whatever day it is, you somehow make it a great one.