This is for Me.

I actually did a couple of things before I officially declared this “Just Start Writing Challenge.” And these were things I was and am going to keep slightly secret because, really, I just want them to be for myself, my peace of mind, knowing I am writing and doing things that I enjoy without being observed under a microscope by friends and family (not saying I don’t appreciate the support from some of you guys, but sometimes a girl just needs to do her own thing).

I started a new Instagram account, and a new Tumblr account. Not new personal accounts; don’t freak out, my personal Instagram and Tumblr accounts are still up and running. But these new accounts are for artistic and writing purposes.

I know, it probably doesn’t seem like a big deal to you, but it’s a real relief to me.

You may be thinking, “Okay, Mishy, so much for keeping them a “secret”; you’re telling us about them now.” True, I am making it known that these accounts do exist, so they aren’t too much of a secret. But I’m not going to tell you what the usernames are because I don’t want to promote them. This isn’t about trying to get as many followers as I can, or even about really wanting people to read what I’ve written. This is about being creative on my own terms, and feeling free to do so.

And honestly? I’m enjoying these two accounts more than I enjoy posting public posts on my personal Tumblr and Instagram, and sometimes even this blog. Seriously. I have never felt so free to just post whatever came to my mind, without the fear of judgment or comments from people I knew.

I definitely encourage it. Sure, strangers can still like it, share it, retweet or re-tumblr it, and who knows, maybe someone I know will stumble upon it without knowing it’s me. But I find great pride and satisfaction knowing that I started something FOR MYSELF, and not for the approval of anyone else.

It’s so fun. Think posting to get 50+ likes is fun? You should try making an anonymous social media account just for your personal sake, and not give a crap about the numbers. Let it be something you’re passionate about, and you’ll really get into it. Or maybe you won’t, and I’m the only one who’s really excited about this sort of thing, which is totally fine.

And while I don’t care about numbers or followers, I am curious to see what these accounts will look like in the future. Will they grow at all? Will they just be my little projects that I get to enjoy seeing all by myself? Who knows. But I’m not going to give up on either of them, no matter what the outcome. Because I’m tired of giving up on stuff just because it seems like it’s not working out. I don’t want to be known as a person who does such things.

Again, I’m not saying having the support of friends and family is a bad thing. I TOTALLY appreciate you, yes, you, the one reading this post right now. The fact that you even take the time to read what I write is seriously just amazing to me. I love you. You’re awesome. Your support means the world.

But I’ve realized that I begin to play a game in my mind when people I love get involved with things I love. I start to keep score.

I start to bug people into checking out my latest post, poem, whatever. I mean, surely, you’ve probably seen my Facebook posts, tweets, Instagram pictures, and heck, even Snapchat “ads” promoting this whole #JustStartWriting thing. Promoting is not a bad thing.

The thing is though – and I get it, it’s something I need to work on – I get really salty (yes, salty i.e. bitter + slightly angry) when said loved ones/friends haven’t read my latest post, poem, whatever. Because, I think, Why would they follow my account, but not like my pictures? Or follow my blog, but not read my posts? Why should I even have to ask if they’ve done these things?

PAUSE: I’m not saying that asking if a friend or loved one has seen your latest whatever on social media or blog is a bad thing. Hey, you do you. It’s cool to check and see if people have followed you or whatnot. Not a bad thing to keep tabs.

But because I personally play that stupid game of check-up, and it brings me to a salty state, it’s not fair to my family, friends, and other people I care about, and it’s not fair to me or to my art.

Plus, I don’t want to give my family and friends the pressure of having to follow yet another social media page, account, blog that I’ve come up with. I know I do a lot, and not everyone can keep up with everything. I don’t expect you to sit at work, and read everything I’ve ever written, or like every post/picture I’ve ever posted. That’s just asking too much.

So, I’m doing us all a favor: I’m just gonna declare that I’ve started a couple of creative accounts, not tell you what the names of them are so you don’t feel pressured to keep up with them, and leave it at that, if you don’t mind.

And no, I didn’t write this post to try to get you curious as to what the accounts are. I just think that, along with my Just Start Writing Challenge, making these accounts based on other things I love to do (whether I felt extremely / specifically inspired or not) seemed appropriate. And it gave me something to write about today, haha!

And hey, you may stumble upon either my new Instagram or Tumblr account, and follow them, which would be super cool. And I’ll get all excited because someone I know is following an account based on something I love to do without knowing it’s me, and I’ll give you a silent wave from behind my cell phone or laptop screen, and carry on.

Because this is for me.

#JustStartWriting

❤ Mishy

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