“Dear Poetry…”

Last week, I attended a poetry event called “Poetry is LIT” hosted by the beautiful and talented poet Erika Roberts aka Velvet Poetry. One of the prompts she gave us was to write a letter to poetry. I wrote the first portion of this at the event, and decided to finish it up.

“Dear Poetry…”

Dear Poetry…
I am sorry.
I’ve always hated you out of misunderstanding, for I was always taught that you were nothing but
Stanzas and rhythms,
Lines and rhymes and
The only reason I ever gave you a try was because
He was a poet…
And I wanted to show him I loved him by
Learning to love you.
Who would’ve thought that he would leave and
You would stay.
And we’d build a stronger bond than I could ever imagine.

You healed me, Poetry.
And even as I waited for him to return you
Took a hold of my darkest moments and
Unfolded all the things I never dreamed I would become.
It seems you have always been a part of who I am and
All it took for me to discover that was
Giving you a chance.

So, I’m so sorry, dear Poetry, for ever doubting you.
Now using you to express myself is the least I can do.

Sincerely,

Mishy 🦋

#MishyWrites

“To All the Singles on February 13th”

Tomorrow you will be tempted to compare yourself to those who
Have someone to hold.
You may smile in happiness for those who are showered with
Gifts and candy and flowers,
But on the inside, your heart is
Melting…like a forgotten piece of chocolate sitting out in the sun.
And you’ll try to be the “strong, independent one,” who doesn’t really care that
Another Valentine’s Day is here, but
You don’t have anyone, excuse me, that
“Special someone” to share it with.

Maybe you’re tempted into thinking that you’re
Unlovable, unlikable,
The only one alone, or
The only one who may receive gifts but
They’re not from your lover, but
A family member.

I want you to know that tomorrow is just like any other day.
That just like any other day, you have people who do love you and care about you.
That even though it hurts to be alone sometimes, you don’t let it stop you from
Being who you are and doing what you wanna do you
Don’t let it define you on any other day so
Why let it define you tomorrow?
I know single people get tired of hearing someone say to them
“Love yourself!” but it’s true:
Take the time, the money, the space to
Spoil yourself, love on yourself:
Eat that pizza, go to that movie,
Sit out under the stars with a glass of wine in hand and
Do a little “I love me” dance and
Through loving yourself, remember
The greatest fact of all –

God loves you.
Not just today but
Every single day.

Luvvy, you are created for love.
You were created with love.
Today and every day,
You are loved.

And in these moments when you’re ready to give up,
To throw in the towel and say,
“I’m tired of throwing myself out there only to be used up and hung out to dry to
Cry every single tear that’s left from my eyes
In those moments, luvvy,
Breathe in, breathe out.
Open your arms up then close them
Shut around your rib cage and
Breathe in and out again.
Squeeze tightly and remember:

Love is in you. Love is with you.
Love surrounds you.

#MishyWrites

“Remember Surrender”

Tread carefully, dear luvvy.

It may seem brave to jump off cliffs and

Into dark waters in which you believe you can

Save something or someone or

Even yourself

From pain, suffering, being alone,

Doubt, and all the like,

But you could endanger yourself unnecessarily or

Hinder a lesson from being learned

Instead of actually being a help.

Yes, it is thoughtful, and kind to care but

Sometimes all someone or something needs is your prayers because

You are not capable of saving. No.

Remember, you surrendered a long time ago so

Step back, and take a breath.

And just let God handle the rest.

#MishyWrites 🦋✨

Current Reads – January Edition

Hey guys, Happy Monday!

So, this year, I told myself that I’d have more words in my life – in writing and in reading! I ended and started off my year reading Opening Moves by Steven James, a crime/thriller/suspense novel that I truly enjoyed. It’s a part of a series I began reading in my later high school years, but it was just as good now than it was back then. I hope to find the rest of the books in the series, and also start the new series that James has written based off of the same protagonist!

Currently, however, to close out January, I am reading two different books – Neon Soul by Alex Elle and Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg.

Neon Soul

For most of 2017, I wanted to buy Alex Elle’s poetry book Neon Soul, but I was never able to because either I couldn’t find it at Barnes and Noble, or I didn’t have the money to really afford to get it, but this time around when I got a 15% off coupon for Barnes and Noble, I finally found it and purchased it, and it’s been so good reading her poetry.

I try to continue to read other people’s poetry, not so that I can copy their style, but to inspire myself, and also encourage myself in my own poetry. It’s amazing to see the different styles that poets write in, and to see what sort of themes center their books. This book is really thin; there are only 143 pages of Elle’s poetry, so I’m trying to learn to read each poem slowly, and sometimes even repetitively so I can fully ingest and digest it. At the end of the book, she has some poetry prompts that I’m excited to delve into once I’ve finished reading!

Writing Down the Bones

I actually bought this book in the spring of 2017 on a trip to McKay’s Used Book store with a dear writing friend of mine. She suggested it to me, and honestly, I haven’t picked it up until now. But with me trying to refresh and restart my Just Start Writing website, and also with me writing my own content, I think it’s important for me to continue learning more about writing because, hello, I’m definitely not an expert just because I got my Bachelor’s in English. Yeah, I don’t even have a concentration, so I can take all the help I can get!

Only a few chapters into this book, and I’m already learning, and really excited to possibly do a series on the JSW site to help other writers work on their own writing.

 

I don’t plan on necessarily finishing these books before the end of January. I mean, my goodness, this is the last full week of January already, and then we’re headed into the second month of the year! I plan on taking my time with these books, and when I’m finished with one or both, I’ll continue on to other reads I have in my bedroom that I haven’t finished. Because there are PLENTY of them!

What are you currently reading? Are you reading for pleasure, to study/learn, to write a review? I’m always in need of some book suggestions, so let me know in the comments!

#MishyWrites

“Sandbox”

The foundation doomed me from the start.

It didn’t matter that the material I was building with was reliable, for when I set the pieces in their places they
Automatically shifted.
Instead of standing straight and tall, they were tilted,
Yet I ignored my disfigured creation and
Continued to pile one thing atop another, beside the other.

I should’ve known that it was hopeless,
Watching the disfigured shapes I formed immediately crumbling before they could stand tall on their own.
Yet I continued to attempt the task;
The sand slipped through my fingers, sat crumpled in my hands.
I picked up my building pace, thinking maybe, if I just built
Fast enough I’d
Create something stable for the time being and
Make it stronger later.

But as I said…the foundation doomed me from the start.

#MishyWrites 🦋✨

“One Word” Update

Do you remember when I blogged last week about my church going through a series about finding our “one word” that the Lord has placed on our hearts to really focus on throughout the year? Well, I feel like I may know what my word is – “brave.”

There have been so many words that have come to mind through this past week – the ones I’ve blogged about, and a couple of others have also come up. And I just couldn’t feel the Lord pulling me in one direction or another. And this past Sunday, as I sat in church and listened to my pastor preach about sowing and reaping, the word “brave” came to my mind.

If I were to look back on my life, there have been moments in which I was brave, and moments when I wished I was braver than I was. And even as I think about where I am now, and what I strive to accomplish and learn from the Lord this year, the word “brave” really just fits.

For instance, right now I’m dealing with a website that I launched in the middle of last year that is in need of some recovery, revision, and reboot. I was honestly really discouraged about it towards the end of last year, and it’s taken me a lot of motivation and reminders to get back into picking it up off the ground. In other words, I feel like I really need to be brave during this time, and dealing with this situation.

Yes, I do want to do things this year that I’ve never done, and that takes courage/bravery. One of the major things I want to do is delve into who the Lord is, who Jesus is. That may sound so silly to some, but I feel like I’ve heard about God and Jesus all my life, and unfortunately, it’s just become a common topic of my day, not anything earth-shattering, even though it’s the basis of my faith, my life. It takes courage to get out of the mundane, the typical, and admit that I don’t know everything, and need to learn more about Who my Savior is, and how deep His love is.

One reason I didn’t think “brave” was my word in the first place was because I am currently reading a devotional book revolving around being brave, and I’m even going through it during my #MotivationalMishyMondays on Instagram live! I figured it was too simple for me to say that “brave” was my word when I was reading and learning about it every day. But God doesn’t try to trick His children; I think my word’s been under my nose this entire time, and I just haven’t realized it until recently.

I’m still going to pray on it though, make sure that this is the word that the Lord has for me to focus on. But I just feel like bravery is rooted in so many things I need to focus on.

I’ve expressed several times here that I’m a worrier, and I’ve always been a worrier since I was a child. Thankfully, the Lord has helped me through my worry as I’ve gotten older, but recently, I’ve felt the same type of worry that I used to as a kid start creeping back into my life. It’s so weird how you think you’re over something, but then when it’s brought back into your life, you can feel the familiarity of it; you remember what it was like in all the ways – emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically.

As I thought about my worry, I thought about the root of it – why did I worry about certain things, people, situations? And I thought, My worry is rooted in fear – Fear of the possibilities of things going a certain way, or people doing/saying things, etc. And if I am to face my fears and worries…I need to be brave. Brave enough to remember that the Lord knows my heart, knows my fears and worries, and is with me no matter what happens. Brave enough to continue to live without fear, because fear holds me back from doing and saying so much.

Just because my word for the year is possibly “brave,” it doesn’t mean that I will totally learn to conquer fear by the end of the year. But I have faith that the Lord is capable of doing that in me, if I trust in Him to teach me how to be brave, and obey Him when He calls me to be. And even if my “one word” isn’t “brave,” I still feel like it’s something I need to continue to learn as I go throughout my life.

So, this week, I pray that the Lord would continue to conquer my fears and worries, and that He would show me in specific ways how to be brave.

#MishyWrites

Worth the Wait

It’s Tuesday, and I haven’t gone back into work this week yet because of MLK day, and today is a snow day (praying to see some actual snow since nothing’s happened yet, if I’m being honest haha). But it’s been really nice to have some slow mornings – waking up when I’ve had enough sleep, not because I have to get up to go to work. Making my breakfast, and having my quiet time for longer than usual. Working out and showering in my own time.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized how nice it is to have days when you can go at your own pace, especially when I used to be someone who felt like I had to go-go-go every minute I had, otherwise I felt like I was wasting time. It’s nice to just sort of be in waiting as you’re going through your day.

Yesterday, I had this thought after I finished doing my Pilates work out and was about to shower:

“Whatever you have for me, Lord, it’s gonna be worth the wait!”

I’m grateful that the Lord gave me this thought as I was going throughout my day at my own pace; that I was simply being faithful with the time I had, and not rushing into anything because so often, I want to rush into other, bigger things in my life. Why? Well, sometimes I’m impatient; I want what I want RIGHT NOW, and most of the time, if I get what I want when I want it, it doesn’t turn out as good as I thought it would be.

Just wanted to write this as a simple reminder that God’s timing is perfect; He knows our hearts, our wants, our needs, and most importantly, He knows what’s best for us. It is better to wait on what the Lord has for us, than to force something, and get just a temporary satisfaction. It is better to go at the pace that He has set out for us than to try to rush things so we can get our way.

So, that significant other you’ve been wondering about? Like, “Where he/she at?” Give that to God, ask Him to give you patience and endurance in this time. Don’t rush into anything just to gain the gratification of now. That french vanilla cream you want to have in your coffee, but shouldn’t because you’re on a cleanse (haha, is it just me? Can you tell the struggle is real?), give it to God! Ask Him to take away the urge, and replace it with something else that will satisfy (like unsweetened vanilla coconut milk and honey, but I’m just being silly lol).

I would rather wait and see what God has for me, than try to create my own joy or happiness from temporary bliss. I pray and hope that this encourages you in whatever season of life you’re in – wait on the Lord! He is faithful to help you be patient, to move past the urges you have so that you can joyfully wait in His presence for what He has for you. It’s not going to be easy all the time, and it definitely doesn’t mean that you’ll get exactly what you want, or that what you get will even be good, but God does know what is best! And His best is worth the wait.

#MishyWrites